Maybe the wolf is in love with the moon, and each month it cries for a love it will never touch.

Q:
Since it is your birthday, do number five of the "talk about" questions. (asked by theconsultingconsultant)
A:

Talk about the best birthday you’ve had: Best birthday was, hands down, was last year in Ireland. We went to that uninhabited island and watched Sean yell at birds and climb things, and it was just a day full of people that I thoroughly enjoyed and a country that was really beautiful. And then Corey and I went to Hairspray and it was glorious and then my little sister sent me a music video that my family had made for me.

It was great, and I know I’ve got some good birthdays waiting for me in the future, but right now that is my absolute favorite birthday.


fuckingrecipes:

MOTHERFUCKERS WANTED MY FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? 

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE GODDAMN  WINTER SLIDE

UNDERAGE MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER STEER CLEAR OF THIS BULLSHIT - OBEY YOUR COUNTRY’S ALCOHOL LAWS, ASSHATS. 


PARADE YOUR FANCY ASS OVER TO YOUR LOCAL BREWERY AND DEMAND THEY SUBMIT TITHE TO THE MAJESTY THAT IS YOUR FACE! ACCEPT ONLY THE FINEST IRISH CREAM (I PREFER CAROLINES)

image

WHEN YOU FEEL SATISFIED AT THEIR HUMBLE OFFERINGS, SPREAD YOUR FUCKING WINGS AND HEAD-BOB YOUR WAY BACK TO THE KITCHEN. 

TEAR A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE AND GRAB REALITY BY THE HEART - FEEL THE LIFE-BLOOD POURING BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS AND STRIP IT AWAY. 

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST HARVESTED SOME YORK-MINT-PATTY COFFEE CREAMER!

image

CALL UP YOUR CANADIAN BROS AND GET THEM TO RIDE A POLAR BEAR OVER TO YOUR HOUSE FOR SOME FLY-ASS VANILLA ICE CREAM

LEFTOVER CANDY CANES? SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

PRACTICE YOUR TIBETAN THROAT-SINGING WHILE MEASURING OUT YOUR INGREDIENTS. 

1/4 CUP IRISH CREAM

3 CUPS ICE CREAM

1/8 CUP CREAMER

AGGRESSIVELY POUR THEM INTO A BLENDER AND SMACK THE FUCKING MACHINE UNTIL IT BLENDS THE SHIT OUT OF THIS CRAZY AWESOMENESS. 

TAKE YOUR HUGE-ASS WINE GLASS BY THE STEM, AND PICK UP YOUR CHOCOLATE SYRUP WITH THE OTHER DEMON-STABBING HAND.

IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING CHOCOLATE SYRUP, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF HUMAN BEING ARE YOU? PURCHASE SOME! FUCK!

SLOWLY SPIN THE WINE GLASS WHILE SQUIRTING SYRUP INTO IT, AND DRAW THE SQUIRT BOTTLE UP TOWARD THE TOP OF THE GLASS WHILE IT SPINS. 

THAT SHOULD MAKE AN AESTHETICALLY PLEASING AND ALSO DELICIOUS SWIRL OF CHOCOLATE ON THE INSIDE OF YOUR GLASS. 

HOLY FUCKING TITS, LOOK AT YOUR FANCY ASS!

CATCALL THE UNIVERSE FOR BEING SUCH A MAJESTIC MOTHERCUKER AND DUMP YOUR BLENDED BULLSHIT INTO THE GLASS. 

TOP IT WITH WHIPPED CREAM, MORE CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND THAT SMASHED CANDY CANE I MENTIONED EARLIER!

ENJOY YOUR MOUTHGASM, ASSHOLE!



Does it look better or worse in color?



Why would fate

bring us together

if it knew I wasn’t meant

to fall in love with you?

Doesn’t God know

that I just don’t have

that kind of

self-control?

Connotativewords [ jl ] | Monster (via connotativewords)

My mama bought me cosmos in a bottle!


My boyfriend said Happy Birthday to me and I just find it hilarious that i can say “You too” and it’s not an awkward social situation, it’s completely normal for me to say that


"talk about" rather than "ask me"
  • 1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
  • 2: Talk about your first kiss.
  • 3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
  • 4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
  • 5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.
  • 6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.
  • 7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
  • 8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
  • 9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
  • 10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.
  • 11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
  • 12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.
  • 13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
  • 14: Talk about a vacation.
  • 15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
  • 16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.
  • 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
  • 18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
  • 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.
  • 20: Talk about something that happened in high school.
  • 21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
  • 22: Talk about your worst fear.
  • 23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.
  • 24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
  • 25: Talk about an ex-best friend.
  • 26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.
  • 27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.
  • 28: Talk about your fetishes.
  • 29: Talk about what turns you on.
  • 30: Talk about what turns you off.
  • 31: Talk about what you think death is like.
  • 32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
  • 33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
  • 34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.
  • 35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
  • 36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.
  • 37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
  • 38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
  • 39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.
  • 40: Talk about the end of something in your life.